I know , I know, it has been a long time since I last updated you on the comings and goings in my life of L-C fabulous psychic.
Seasons have come and gone, so have jobs, I am no longer with Illamasqua - really not worth the airtime to explain. Having said that I am so much happier not having to work with a woman who wears more make up than a drag queen and tells me she painted all 12 signs of the Zodiac on her wall without knowing, plus in the other room , she painted a character which looks like the Vetruvian Man, that she calls Frank and thinks is God !!!!!!
Last Thursday I went to a speed dating event run by Cardiff County Council held at the fantastic New Central Library in Cardiff City Centre.
My friend Nick accompanied me. I figured if people were attending the event in the Library at least they would be literate as daters were asked to bring along a favourite book as an icebreaker. I took "Love Letters of Great Men" which was the book borne out of the film "Sex and the City". It includes letters by Darwin, Napoleon, Beethoven, Byron and Keats. I couldn't find my copy of the Karma Sutra - a joke my Mum did not see the funny side of.
This seemed promising in terms of being able to read and write as long as they did not bring along a pop-up book or something called "My First Book - Aged 12 months +)"
We arrived promptly, this was new for me ! I was asked by four separate members of staff if they could take my coat and put it away - "no, it is Armani" I was not letting that baby out of my sight !
I surveyed the room, slim pickings as far as I could see.
Nick (he is so astute and observant particularly for a bloke) told me I'd pulled already as the man in the grey jumper could not take his eyes off me. When he had his date with me - he asked if he could talk to me after all the other dates had finished. I made the excuse "Sorry I have to rush off " At that point the name "Speed Dating" could not have been more apt, because I would have moved at the pace of an Olympian Sprinter.
The only man who can wear a grey jumper with some credibility is Simon Cowell and that is because he wears John Smedley.
I glanced towards the said man, and glanced very quickly away . He was wearing the complete fashion NO NO ---- yes you guessed it ------ a FLEECE. It was a cross between a fleece and a jumper - still no fooling L-C here - it was a fleece. It could not be disguised as a jumper , it was a fleece.
The only place for fleeces is on mountains - preferably on sheep.
Then three men arrived. Two of them I recognised as Ice Hockey Players for the Cardiff Devils as they had done promotions for the Givenchy counter when I was with Illamasqua in Debenhams. The other guy I recognised - from my dreams and a Ralph Lauren runway show because this is what he looked like. Hunky, preppy and yes - wait for it - I am about to bestow the highest acolade I ever give - he had GREAT teeth ! Yes me - teeth fanatic - saying a guy had great teeth. The last guy I saw with great teeth was wearing John Smedley judging the X Factor and American Idol.
Things were looking up. Ice Ice Baby.
There was also another good looking guy in a blazer, then I saw the shirt he was wearing with it and my eyes hurt. It was something the male members of the Mamas and the Papas would have worn when they were doing acid with Salavador Dali and asked him to design their costumes.
Two men dropped out, they were too shy to come upstairs ! So we were down two men and no the daters were not the Scottish Rugby Team that lost against Wales yesterday.
The dating started - we had 3 minutes per date.
My first date was nearly my last, I almost lost the will to live.
Alas, he did not have great teeth. He had two teeth in the front and I recall two at the side, with a lot of gaps and gums in between. The teeth he did have were the same colour as cheap oak flooring.
He began to talk and after the basics - ie "Hi How are you ? " he launched into
"I am looking for someone to be with and I will give a 100% love, I just want to be with someone"
Then he started welling up with tears.
OMG ! My first date is in tears , I was too as I really felt for his dentist.
I was actually compassionate to him and told him that somebody will come his way and he needs to keep going out - to keep the faith (and possibly get a better dental hygienist or some veneers) and things would start to look up.
Then a few others came and went. The guy with the horrendous shirt was a Scot and when he told me he worked for Barclays as an underwriter and was in the Territorial Army as a trauma medic because of his accent I thought he said he was an undertaker and a drummer !!!!
Anyway, the Ralph Lauren model lookalike guy eventually got to my table. He was American and I did not get off to the best start by assuming he was Canadian - well he was with Cardiff Devil's Ice Hockey Players !
He is from Boston, is studying an MBA at Cardiff University and plays hockey for the Devils. He is called Mike - then the penny dropped - my friend Julia who is with an ex Devil player - had told me he dated a friend of hers who is slightly older than myself. No problems being a cougar then.
He was funny, intelligent, charming and HOT !
He commented to me that 3 minutes was not a long time - he would have said differently if he had a first date with Mr Missing Teeth - which I concurred with.
Anyway the bell rang for the end of 3 minutes and he decided to stay for a 2nd date !
WOW ! Cool , that works for me !
His team mates were great guys too. Matt M who was Canadian, was hilarious. We had a scream, he was a cool guy - and ladies, you would be lucky to have him as there would never be a dull moment. The other Matt too was a very sweet guy and is quite edgy in his dress so a good catch also.
Matt M said he would get me tickets for the games - I am ashamed to say I have not even been to the new rink - which is rather more like a tent with frozen water on the floor whilst they build the super duper one for the International Sports Village.
Matt M said I was "cool" and calm and collected. He has not seen me getting ready for a night out - those three words do not come into it. He told me to make sure I left him my details at the end of the night for the tickets.
All daters were supposed to fill out business cards for the dates they met . There were three choices on it .
Something along the lines of
"I'd like to see you again " on date basis.
"I enjoyed talking to you, I'd like to meet again as friends"
"I enjoyed talking to you. You were really nice. Good luck for the future"
At the end of the night the library staff handed out sealed envelopes to those who had attended with the completed cards.
My cards have been put in the bin. I got five.
Some of both female and male daters did not bother to fill in the cards. Nick and I were super polite and filled them all in. There was also a comment form for each attendee to make notes on the people they met during the night so we remembered who they were. Some of them I will never forget, their fashion and teeth may haunt me for the next 12 months.
We all also had to fill in a questionnaire evaluating the event. There was a last question with suggestions for any changes
I wrote
"that some men change their dentists" Or even better GET A GOOD ONE FAST.
The PR girl for the Devils is from Vegas (Viva Las and all that) was there taking photos and I asked her as an American if it does not drive her demented seeing all the terrible teeth of the British . She said it does !
You see I am not the only one !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By now, you may well be wondering who did I leave cards for asking to see them again for a date.
NONE !!
This is L-C . She does not ask men out ! Speed dating event or not. I have old fashioned values - men need to chase and be chivalrous. They need to be able to be gallant and courteous not emasculated.
However, I did leave two cards with my contact details on. One was to Matt M for a meeting as friends and tickets to show my support for chasing a flattened rubber thing on frozen water of my local team. The other was again the second choice with the "as friends" part crossed out so it read
"I'd like to meet again for more than 6 minutes" to the guy who frankly proves that miracles do still happen.
Miracle ? What miracle ? The fact that I could not find fault with him. Well groomed, dressed with style, amazing teeth, brains, brawn and a very bright future ahead of him.
Nick also had some hits from the ladies to meet as friends and he has already had an email off one of them asking to meet up ! Go NICK !!!
In short I thoroughly enjoyed the "Speed Skating" sorry "Dating" event.
Note to my Mother - there is a man in the world that has teeth which do not offend me.
Sunday 14 February 2010
Tuesday 30 June 2009
One More Sleep
Last week, I turned 39. Still, I am looking fierce and fabulous so not too worried about the effects of the years passing me by. Especially as I received a top up from "Beau"tox as the forehead was not quite as frozen as I like it .
As usual he was looking more than dashingly handsome, he was drop dead gorgeous. Thing is readers, in the past 2 weeks there have been some interesting developments with him. He now sends me text messages signed off with "x" and at varying times of the day - like Midnight, which I am positive despite my being blonde, are not the usual times of salutation to sign off with to your clients.
Last week, during my top up, the gorgeous Doctor asked if he could book a "session" with me - he meant a reading.
Shame I had a different type of session altogether planned in my head. Anway, it has been arranged for Wednesday of this week ................................... at his apartment.
He also texted to say we could look at "webstyles etc x " and that he is looking forward to it . Not as much as me ! DING DONG !
My friend who works in HR management in the NHS has told me he has to stop doing my Botox after my visit due to the Code of Conduct.
Stuff the Code of Conduct, I am more interested in his bedside manner.
Anyway, I am beyond excited although I have to admit as confident, arrogant and immodest as I usually am about my mediumship abilities, I am worried that in my excitement about seeing him at his apartment, I will get stagefright.
Can you imagine the shame ????
L-C here is also wondering whether he will have a card or pressie for me as he is such a gentleman despite nearly taking my eye out last week with a hyperdermic needle when doing the top up as we were both giggling so much, I actually had to get him to stop until we composed ourselves. I did receive a very apologetic text from him late on my birthday wishing me all the best and that his memory is "shit" that is why he had not sent wishes earlier.
For the record, he looked even better than the 1st lot of botox. He had stubble (so much more than sexy) and rather cool t shirt (fitted him perfectly) jeans and casual shoes.
At one point I had to ask him to turn the air con up - I acutally said " it is hot in here" cliche I know - truth ? Yes, not sure if it was him or the heat.
Therefore, Wednesday 1st July could see the start of something very fresh and exciting.
Of course, I mean my website - as he is really into designing it and getting it up and running for me. He has told me the domain name I want is free and explained some other things to me, I feigned interest and pretended I understood what he meant.
He also said I need to think about some points about myself for the "About us" page.
What about this for starters ?
Fabulous
Talented
Great psychic and mediumship ability
Frozen forehead
Has a hot Doctor to adminster Botox
Watch this space ........................... Only One More Sleep .............................
As usual he was looking more than dashingly handsome, he was drop dead gorgeous. Thing is readers, in the past 2 weeks there have been some interesting developments with him. He now sends me text messages signed off with "x" and at varying times of the day - like Midnight, which I am positive despite my being blonde, are not the usual times of salutation to sign off with to your clients.
Last week, during my top up, the gorgeous Doctor asked if he could book a "session" with me - he meant a reading.
Shame I had a different type of session altogether planned in my head. Anway, it has been arranged for Wednesday of this week ................................... at his apartment.
He also texted to say we could look at "webstyles etc x " and that he is looking forward to it . Not as much as me ! DING DONG !
My friend who works in HR management in the NHS has told me he has to stop doing my Botox after my visit due to the Code of Conduct.
Stuff the Code of Conduct, I am more interested in his bedside manner.
Anyway, I am beyond excited although I have to admit as confident, arrogant and immodest as I usually am about my mediumship abilities, I am worried that in my excitement about seeing him at his apartment, I will get stagefright.
Can you imagine the shame ????
L-C here is also wondering whether he will have a card or pressie for me as he is such a gentleman despite nearly taking my eye out last week with a hyperdermic needle when doing the top up as we were both giggling so much, I actually had to get him to stop until we composed ourselves. I did receive a very apologetic text from him late on my birthday wishing me all the best and that his memory is "shit" that is why he had not sent wishes earlier.
For the record, he looked even better than the 1st lot of botox. He had stubble (so much more than sexy) and rather cool t shirt (fitted him perfectly) jeans and casual shoes.
At one point I had to ask him to turn the air con up - I acutally said " it is hot in here" cliche I know - truth ? Yes, not sure if it was him or the heat.
Therefore, Wednesday 1st July could see the start of something very fresh and exciting.
Of course, I mean my website - as he is really into designing it and getting it up and running for me. He has told me the domain name I want is free and explained some other things to me, I feigned interest and pretended I understood what he meant.
He also said I need to think about some points about myself for the "About us" page.
What about this for starters ?
Fabulous
Talented
Great psychic and mediumship ability
Frozen forehead
Has a hot Doctor to adminster Botox
Watch this space ........................... Only One More Sleep .............................
Monday 15 June 2009
Alter Ego
Recently, I got a new part time job with a fantastic British Make Up brand called Illamasqua.
The brand is all about exploring your alter ego and self expression. It is amazing. The pigment in it is so heavy the products just last all day - awesome.
I work part time as a make up artist readers, as well as doing my psychic work.
Anyway, we had 3 days training at a swanky hotel. The last day was finished off with ice cold champagne - I love the job already !
On the day the counter was opening at Debenhams Cardiff, we were all dressing as Burlesque dancers.
Dolce pencil high waisted pencil skirt, fabulous belt, black top, incredible fascinator and fish net tights. Could not find my stockings anywhere ! Damn !
The weather was foul the day we opened, the heavens expressed their alter ego and opened with a torrential downpour.
I had a lift into work and was teetering along in new shoes - just for work - no flats please on counter - this brand is glamour, glamour, glamour !
Working all day in heels - pain, pain, pain.
Anyway, I thought it was rather drafty around the legs. I put this down to a drop in temperature due to the rain.
I heard the voice of my lovely colleague Miss C, calling me and running to catch up with me.
Then she shrieked "L-C, Your bum is showing."
The Dolce skirt zip (which goes all the way up the back of skirt) had come undone right to the top , no wonder it was drafty !
I was mortified, showing my buttocks in full gusset fishnet tights - not even stockings ! Everybody knows, we cannot operate and exude all out sexiness on a full gusset.
Start as one means to go on , I say.
I certainly got into my alter ego - running semi naked in the rain through town.
We were after all, Illamasqua Burlesque girls. Two birds with one stone - self expression and a little strip tease.
FABULOUS !!!
MWAH !!
Since that day, Illamasqua has captivated me. I love the work, the colleagues, the products and the brand.
Get yourself into the counter NOW - for the best products there are !
I have to say, I came across a rather naughty customer the other day. She was a woman of a certain age and had come down from West Wales with her rather glam friend to shop for the day .
They were asking me about lip products and were finding some of the lipstick names amusing .....
"filth"
"corrupt"
"encounter"
"tramp"
etc..
and the best is yet to come (pardon the pun when you read on)
"climax"
The glam one was buying a lipgloss in "electrify" and the one lady of a certain age....
"I will have a CLIMAX, in any colour"
YOU GO GIRL!
What a minx !!!
I do love a bit of "filth" from a "corrupt" woman.
How "salacious" !
The brand is all about exploring your alter ego and self expression. It is amazing. The pigment in it is so heavy the products just last all day - awesome.
I work part time as a make up artist readers, as well as doing my psychic work.
Anyway, we had 3 days training at a swanky hotel. The last day was finished off with ice cold champagne - I love the job already !
On the day the counter was opening at Debenhams Cardiff, we were all dressing as Burlesque dancers.
Dolce pencil high waisted pencil skirt, fabulous belt, black top, incredible fascinator and fish net tights. Could not find my stockings anywhere ! Damn !
The weather was foul the day we opened, the heavens expressed their alter ego and opened with a torrential downpour.
I had a lift into work and was teetering along in new shoes - just for work - no flats please on counter - this brand is glamour, glamour, glamour !
Working all day in heels - pain, pain, pain.
Anyway, I thought it was rather drafty around the legs. I put this down to a drop in temperature due to the rain.
I heard the voice of my lovely colleague Miss C, calling me and running to catch up with me.
Then she shrieked "L-C, Your bum is showing."
The Dolce skirt zip (which goes all the way up the back of skirt) had come undone right to the top , no wonder it was drafty !
I was mortified, showing my buttocks in full gusset fishnet tights - not even stockings ! Everybody knows, we cannot operate and exude all out sexiness on a full gusset.
Start as one means to go on , I say.
I certainly got into my alter ego - running semi naked in the rain through town.
We were after all, Illamasqua Burlesque girls. Two birds with one stone - self expression and a little strip tease.
FABULOUS !!!
MWAH !!
Since that day, Illamasqua has captivated me. I love the work, the colleagues, the products and the brand.
Get yourself into the counter NOW - for the best products there are !
I have to say, I came across a rather naughty customer the other day. She was a woman of a certain age and had come down from West Wales with her rather glam friend to shop for the day .
They were asking me about lip products and were finding some of the lipstick names amusing .....
"filth"
"corrupt"
"encounter"
"tramp"
etc..
and the best is yet to come (pardon the pun when you read on)
"climax"
The glam one was buying a lipgloss in "electrify" and the one lady of a certain age....
"I will have a CLIMAX, in any colour"
YOU GO GIRL!
What a minx !!!
I do love a bit of "filth" from a "corrupt" woman.
How "salacious" !
Thursday 4 June 2009
WAGS & DAGS
Recently I was dining at one of Cardiff's contemporary restaurants in the Bay, called Mimosa. Great service and even better food.
It was described in a well known national paper as "the restaurant to watch in Wales". I agree - just don't watch the other diners too often due to their fashion faux pas's.
I was there on Good Friday with my friend Laura. Laura and I had done the essential texting each other of the "What are you wearing?" and we both had decided on something fabulous and suitable for Mimosa.
I was in limited edition Gold Doc Marten boots, wet look leggings, and a vintage ladies tuxedo, Dolce & Gabbana bag and lashings of Chanel No 5 with cosmetics courtesy of MAC and YSL.
Laura had great accessories, sparkly gorgeous top, incredible skinny jeans and lovely shoes.
The restaurant was full with people having a wonderful time, the ambience was right and the food we had was excellent.
Then the evening was almost ruined . I was looking around to see who was in the restaurant, presuming as they were eating in Mimosa they would have impeccable taste.
Could I have been more wrong ? No !
I spotted a couple. The man had a touch of Richard Gere about him. Salt and pepper grey hair, dressed smart casual, quite Ralph Lauren, classic and preppy.
I know, I know, his wife must be a dreamboat.
Trust me Cardiff's answer to Richard Gere did not have Cardiff's answer to "Pretty Woman" with him.
It was a good job we were between courses, otherwise I think I would have choked on my food.
Firstly, I spotted fashion faux pas number 1 - a scrunchie in the hair. Then, fashion faux pas number 2 - a FLEECE!
A FLEECE AT DINNER ! Had the woman lost her mind ?????
I would not wear a fleece to walk the dog.
My male divorced friend told me in no uncertain terms that if his wife had come downstairs dressed in a fleece to go to dinner, he would have ordered in.
Chris Bonington, Antartic Explorers, Outdoor Pursuits Instructors - I understand, believe me I do - they have their uses and appropriate locations to be worn in but fleeces are not restaurant suited unless on top of an Alpine mountain.
NOT in Mimosa at the dinner table.
A few days later, I was chatting to a friend who I told about the fleece moment at Mimosa. I was horrified and understandably quite angry that she had the gall to make such an understated effort, after the stress of what Laura and I went through in the decision making process on what we would wear in order that we looked as fabulous as possible.
My friend told me that if I was in a bad mood, as she did not believe that all my angst was directed at fleece woman, then I had to take it out on the right person.
I do occasionally listen to friend's advice, the next day, I texted the useless guy I was dating and told him that
"Men are supposed to take the lead in dating, frankly at present you seem incapable of taking my dog's lead and taking her out"
Then I went on to say that dating him was like pulling teeth i.e. NOT a lot of fun.
Hence, I took fashion angst out on Mr Dance DJ, who looked like he could do with a few nights dining at Mimosa as he was so thin. To be honest it was a relief that I got shot if him, I never liked his teeth anyway.
Ladies, take note, NEVER date a man with thinner thighs than yourselves, it will end in tears.
Anyway, some weeks later, I was working out at the gym with my fabulous in her 50's friend, who does not look in body or face anywhere near her age , she is in amazing nick and has exquisite taste.
She had gone to neighbours that weekend for a barbecue and some other neighbours had gone there too.
She went on to tell me that the other neighbours they had not met before, were quite something. The woman, apparently, not a scrap of make-up on the face, hair that had not seen a brush, product, hairdresser or colour since Adam was boy. From the description it sounded like one of those women that the FBI rescue from evil polygamous religious cults in America when they come out with middle partings and streaks of grey in the most boring hair colour known to man , looking completely washed out .
Fabulous friend, was asked how her very succesful hubby had come to Cardiff as he was English. Fab friend, told Mrs No Make-up, that he had gone to University there and played Rugby for Cardiff and also cricket for Glamorgan.
FF joked that as it was quite some time ago, she was the original WAG.
Do you know what non make-up lady retorted
"Well you've got enough bling for it! "
Luckily fab friend found the funny side.
I guess Bling to this particular lady would have been holding the Baked potato in foil on her lap at the BBQ.
My guess is her daughter eats at Mimosa dressed in unsuitable clothes.
I know what I would rather be described as it always has to be WAG in lieu of DAG.
Guess what ? BBQ guest's choice of clothes amongst others for that evening .......
Yes, she too had a fleece !
Leave the fleece on the sheep ladies, or to the mountain dwellers.
I rest my case.
WAGS and DAGS - never the twain shall meet.
It was described in a well known national paper as "the restaurant to watch in Wales". I agree - just don't watch the other diners too often due to their fashion faux pas's.
I was there on Good Friday with my friend Laura. Laura and I had done the essential texting each other of the "What are you wearing?" and we both had decided on something fabulous and suitable for Mimosa.
I was in limited edition Gold Doc Marten boots, wet look leggings, and a vintage ladies tuxedo, Dolce & Gabbana bag and lashings of Chanel No 5 with cosmetics courtesy of MAC and YSL.
Laura had great accessories, sparkly gorgeous top, incredible skinny jeans and lovely shoes.
The restaurant was full with people having a wonderful time, the ambience was right and the food we had was excellent.
Then the evening was almost ruined . I was looking around to see who was in the restaurant, presuming as they were eating in Mimosa they would have impeccable taste.
Could I have been more wrong ? No !
I spotted a couple. The man had a touch of Richard Gere about him. Salt and pepper grey hair, dressed smart casual, quite Ralph Lauren, classic and preppy.
I know, I know, his wife must be a dreamboat.
Trust me Cardiff's answer to Richard Gere did not have Cardiff's answer to "Pretty Woman" with him.
It was a good job we were between courses, otherwise I think I would have choked on my food.
Firstly, I spotted fashion faux pas number 1 - a scrunchie in the hair. Then, fashion faux pas number 2 - a FLEECE!
A FLEECE AT DINNER ! Had the woman lost her mind ?????
I would not wear a fleece to walk the dog.
My male divorced friend told me in no uncertain terms that if his wife had come downstairs dressed in a fleece to go to dinner, he would have ordered in.
Chris Bonington, Antartic Explorers, Outdoor Pursuits Instructors - I understand, believe me I do - they have their uses and appropriate locations to be worn in but fleeces are not restaurant suited unless on top of an Alpine mountain.
NOT in Mimosa at the dinner table.
A few days later, I was chatting to a friend who I told about the fleece moment at Mimosa. I was horrified and understandably quite angry that she had the gall to make such an understated effort, after the stress of what Laura and I went through in the decision making process on what we would wear in order that we looked as fabulous as possible.
My friend told me that if I was in a bad mood, as she did not believe that all my angst was directed at fleece woman, then I had to take it out on the right person.
I do occasionally listen to friend's advice, the next day, I texted the useless guy I was dating and told him that
"Men are supposed to take the lead in dating, frankly at present you seem incapable of taking my dog's lead and taking her out"
Then I went on to say that dating him was like pulling teeth i.e. NOT a lot of fun.
Hence, I took fashion angst out on Mr Dance DJ, who looked like he could do with a few nights dining at Mimosa as he was so thin. To be honest it was a relief that I got shot if him, I never liked his teeth anyway.
Ladies, take note, NEVER date a man with thinner thighs than yourselves, it will end in tears.
Anyway, some weeks later, I was working out at the gym with my fabulous in her 50's friend, who does not look in body or face anywhere near her age , she is in amazing nick and has exquisite taste.
She had gone to neighbours that weekend for a barbecue and some other neighbours had gone there too.
She went on to tell me that the other neighbours they had not met before, were quite something. The woman, apparently, not a scrap of make-up on the face, hair that had not seen a brush, product, hairdresser or colour since Adam was boy. From the description it sounded like one of those women that the FBI rescue from evil polygamous religious cults in America when they come out with middle partings and streaks of grey in the most boring hair colour known to man , looking completely washed out .
Fabulous friend, was asked how her very succesful hubby had come to Cardiff as he was English. Fab friend, told Mrs No Make-up, that he had gone to University there and played Rugby for Cardiff and also cricket for Glamorgan.
FF joked that as it was quite some time ago, she was the original WAG.
Do you know what non make-up lady retorted
"Well you've got enough bling for it! "
Luckily fab friend found the funny side.
I guess Bling to this particular lady would have been holding the Baked potato in foil on her lap at the BBQ.
My guess is her daughter eats at Mimosa dressed in unsuitable clothes.
I know what I would rather be described as it always has to be WAG in lieu of DAG.
Guess what ? BBQ guest's choice of clothes amongst others for that evening .......
Yes, she too had a fleece !
Leave the fleece on the sheep ladies, or to the mountain dwellers.
I rest my case.
WAGS and DAGS - never the twain shall meet.
Monday 25 May 2009
"Beau"tox
Two weeks ago, I booked myself in to have some more Botox. I decided to give back to myself after giving continually all the time to clients in their readings.
Oh Ok ! I admit it, I am just vain !
I felt the forehead was in need of some help in the paralysing muscles department. The last Doctor that did it last probably put enough in to paralyse a hamster's muscles as it wore off after 7 weeks, although I did tell her as it was the second time she had administered the treatment, I felt she needed more as it was apparent it did not last long.
Hence, I looked up some Doctor's in the area and even called a few salons who regularly have treatments there for customers. Basically, both salons were useless at communication, gave out wrong prices and in reality did nothing for my trust of whoever they had coming in to inject poison into my face as their first impressions ( we all know how much L-C here loves a good first impression) did nothing to instill confidence in me with reference to their ability and their Doctor's.
I had made an appointment via email with a Doctor - who does house visits ! How fabulous! Botox on Wheels ! A house call for Botox ? WONDERFUL !
I arranged for Botox on Wheels to come to the office, that my promotions company have and I also sometimes do readings from there.
My botox day arrived so I went to the office to duly wait for said Doctor's arrival. My promotions team was there also. The team consists of a gay couple. The office is situated on one of the couple's Dad's car lot.
The Doctor arrived and got out of the car.
My goodness, even before administering botox, I was rendered motionless to the spot. The being that had got out of the car, was heavenly.
A Botox adonis.
My gay colleague's jaw dropped ! I was frankly ready to drop my knickers to match our jaws.
Doctor did the botox , in the most unusual setting we concurred for him to do the treatment i.e. in a promotions company office in a car lot, on a lady who talks to the dead for a living and sells make up part time.
Doctor, gay colleague ascertained was not married, as we were all chatting away merrily. Gay men are good at getting things like this out of straight men - they just ask as they can get away with it.
I was certainly merry, when he was that close to me doing the treatment. During which he told me he carries a full resucitation kit in his car. Good job. I thought as I nearly fainted when I saw you.
Heaven knows how he gets out alive from bored rich housewives homes ! He is HOT !
Doctor did about 3 areas and when I asked him how many had he done, he said
"One and a half to you"
That was all he charged me. He also told me he wants a reading off me, told me he lives nearby, asked me if I have a website. Offered to build me a website as he built the one for his clinic and told me he would call me !
A Doctor on call ! I was a psychic on heat !
Anyway, gay colleague, said he kept popping in and out of the office to leave us two "lovebirds" alone and that Doctor indeed was a very handsome boy.
People - this man is the most handsome guy I have seen in my thirty something years on this planet.
Brad Pitt and George Clooney would feel insecure next to this man.
Tomorrow is the day he calls me to arrange the review in case I need a top up - I will tell him I do - just to get to see him again ! Although Psychic L-C here has a feeling he will call me after the review to arrange the reading and website building.
You know what I see for the Doctor in the imminent future ??
A petite pretty blonde with an unusual job, who does not look her age as there is not a line on her face and they met in an unusual location.
Wonder who that could be ????
"Beau"tox - every fabulous fierce female needs a little help against the ageing.
Oh Ok ! I admit it, I am just vain !
I felt the forehead was in need of some help in the paralysing muscles department. The last Doctor that did it last probably put enough in to paralyse a hamster's muscles as it wore off after 7 weeks, although I did tell her as it was the second time she had administered the treatment, I felt she needed more as it was apparent it did not last long.
Hence, I looked up some Doctor's in the area and even called a few salons who regularly have treatments there for customers. Basically, both salons were useless at communication, gave out wrong prices and in reality did nothing for my trust of whoever they had coming in to inject poison into my face as their first impressions ( we all know how much L-C here loves a good first impression) did nothing to instill confidence in me with reference to their ability and their Doctor's.
I had made an appointment via email with a Doctor - who does house visits ! How fabulous! Botox on Wheels ! A house call for Botox ? WONDERFUL !
I arranged for Botox on Wheels to come to the office, that my promotions company have and I also sometimes do readings from there.
My botox day arrived so I went to the office to duly wait for said Doctor's arrival. My promotions team was there also. The team consists of a gay couple. The office is situated on one of the couple's Dad's car lot.
The Doctor arrived and got out of the car.
My goodness, even before administering botox, I was rendered motionless to the spot. The being that had got out of the car, was heavenly.
A Botox adonis.
My gay colleague's jaw dropped ! I was frankly ready to drop my knickers to match our jaws.
Doctor did the botox , in the most unusual setting we concurred for him to do the treatment i.e. in a promotions company office in a car lot, on a lady who talks to the dead for a living and sells make up part time.
Doctor, gay colleague ascertained was not married, as we were all chatting away merrily. Gay men are good at getting things like this out of straight men - they just ask as they can get away with it.
I was certainly merry, when he was that close to me doing the treatment. During which he told me he carries a full resucitation kit in his car. Good job. I thought as I nearly fainted when I saw you.
Heaven knows how he gets out alive from bored rich housewives homes ! He is HOT !
Doctor did about 3 areas and when I asked him how many had he done, he said
"One and a half to you"
That was all he charged me. He also told me he wants a reading off me, told me he lives nearby, asked me if I have a website. Offered to build me a website as he built the one for his clinic and told me he would call me !
A Doctor on call ! I was a psychic on heat !
Anyway, gay colleague, said he kept popping in and out of the office to leave us two "lovebirds" alone and that Doctor indeed was a very handsome boy.
People - this man is the most handsome guy I have seen in my thirty something years on this planet.
Brad Pitt and George Clooney would feel insecure next to this man.
Tomorrow is the day he calls me to arrange the review in case I need a top up - I will tell him I do - just to get to see him again ! Although Psychic L-C here has a feeling he will call me after the review to arrange the reading and website building.
You know what I see for the Doctor in the imminent future ??
A petite pretty blonde with an unusual job, who does not look her age as there is not a line on her face and they met in an unusual location.
Wonder who that could be ????
"Beau"tox - every fabulous fierce female needs a little help against the ageing.
Friday 22 May 2009
Glamour and Shitz
Well the day has finally arrived. Today was my day off and date night - going out for dinner with a man a friend set me up with.
I thought my day would be relaxing with a hint of glamour. How wrong could i be ?
Starbucks was the first stop of the day. A cute group of four. Two twenty something's and two thirty something's. One of whom is expecting her first baby imminently.
Three ladies. One gay guy, my quintessential fabulous male accessory, who as it happens is officially one of the hottest men in Wales according to a paper that I have officially fallen out with . Well one of the journalist's to be honest, that is a whole other story so will update you all people on that soon.
We are all very different, all beyond fabulous and each of us has success in our own right in the professions we do, so Starbucks was a wonderful start to the day.
Then Gay Best Friend (GBF for short) and I headed into town after our rendez-vous at 'Bucks.
I sell make-up for a company in a well known department store and the company owner was visiting so all of the team were required to have a one to one.
GBF and I got instore, had a chat with some colleagues, some male (described by GBF as "camp as biscuits . Note - GBF is not camp in any way, the nearest he gets to that is spending a night under nylon with a sleeping bag). Then we headed to the lovely Miss J. on YSL for GBF to try out the male Touche Eclat.
A must for the morning after late night's for all of us who need a little light on their face. Even as a leading medium working with the light needs a touch of touche.
GBF had a make over, very glamourous, he had a new product on his face and bought the Touche Eclat for men. I told you he was not camp !
Of course we were given some samples of other products, which included, oddly enough , a few random packets of Cadbury's Clusters.
Obviously, Miss J on YSL knows Gay men and women, Touche Eclat, chocolate and make up - what more could one want on a trip into town !!!
Then I had my high brow meeting with owner and manger. Very positive all round although sadly our stand is closing in the Cardiff Store. However, a girl always has options right ?
Then GBF and I parted company and I went home, got my blue / grey cat and took him to the vets.
The cat in question is like Lindsay Lohan and Posh Spice with fur. I never ever thought I would be jealous of a cat's hips, I AM !
The cat Moses (the holy name came in useful, explanation to follow) eats all the time and cries incessantly for food. Clearly something is amiss as he is as skinny as and his tummy is really hard and swollen.
The vet told me his stomach was empty !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like the pouches of food after he polishes them off. The cat was also dehydrated.
Vet took samples of blood from his neck as opposed to the leg (how gothic) and then gave him fluids to hydrate him via a drip !!!
I then asked the vets for tablets that would treat shock, she looked at me perplexed. I explained they were not for the cat they were actually for the owner. As the bill was nearly £100 !
Bang goes the new outfit for next weeks aftershow party of the Dave Courtney tour. Bugger !!!
Then the Vet informs me as she hands me a sample bottle - I need to collect a sample of Moses' poo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You want his shit ?? He poos something that resembles a melted minstrel as it is just a splash !
OMG !
From the glamour to shit !
How one needed him to have a holy name - we needed to pray to the money God's after that.
The punchline ...
Vet still does not know what is wrong with him. We definitely know it is not hyperthyroidism as his tests for that were negative.
After nearly an hour at the Vet's we returned home. I dropped Moses off and got the dog.
I needed some retail therapy , my guess was the dog did too as it was the weekend.
Dog and I went to Pets at Home. When I got to the cashier, I noticed they were selling the "fire engine" cat play house featured in The Apprentice on BBC1.
I was chatting to the friendly cashier about the Apprentice product on display and asked if they were stocking the leads also featured on the programme.
I felt the dog pulling on her lead and I attempted to pull her back, she seemed reluctant to move.
No wonder ! The filthy minx was having a poo right in front of the queue of other customer's and the cashier .
OMG - I was beyond mortified.
Friendly cashier was now treating me like, well what had just exited the dog's bum. I did offer to clean it up instead of the poor man that had run over with bags to scoop up the offending lumps.
He refused. One act of gallantry cannot be bad in one day, even though it included dog excrement.
Dog and I left sharpish.
The cat , however, was refusing to poo at all, despite the amount of food I gave to him when we got in.
Honestly, I swear the animals KNOW ! They do !
My pets did a conspiracy theory yesterday for poo.
Hence the day was glamour to shitz.
Or as "Mr How is this man single" described it
"catastrophic"
Or as I said "crapastrophic"
The next day, Moses gave us the parting we had all wanted not of the red sea so we got the sample to the vets.
Well Charlotte York-Goldenblatt may have had pudding her prada in Sex and the City, here at Sex and the Psychic, we push the boundaries......
L-C has poo in her prada.
I thought my day would be relaxing with a hint of glamour. How wrong could i be ?
Starbucks was the first stop of the day. A cute group of four. Two twenty something's and two thirty something's. One of whom is expecting her first baby imminently.
Three ladies. One gay guy, my quintessential fabulous male accessory, who as it happens is officially one of the hottest men in Wales according to a paper that I have officially fallen out with . Well one of the journalist's to be honest, that is a whole other story so will update you all people on that soon.
We are all very different, all beyond fabulous and each of us has success in our own right in the professions we do, so Starbucks was a wonderful start to the day.
Then Gay Best Friend (GBF for short) and I headed into town after our rendez-vous at 'Bucks.
I sell make-up for a company in a well known department store and the company owner was visiting so all of the team were required to have a one to one.
GBF and I got instore, had a chat with some colleagues, some male (described by GBF as "camp as biscuits . Note - GBF is not camp in any way, the nearest he gets to that is spending a night under nylon with a sleeping bag). Then we headed to the lovely Miss J. on YSL for GBF to try out the male Touche Eclat.
A must for the morning after late night's for all of us who need a little light on their face. Even as a leading medium working with the light needs a touch of touche.
GBF had a make over, very glamourous, he had a new product on his face and bought the Touche Eclat for men. I told you he was not camp !
Of course we were given some samples of other products, which included, oddly enough , a few random packets of Cadbury's Clusters.
Obviously, Miss J on YSL knows Gay men and women, Touche Eclat, chocolate and make up - what more could one want on a trip into town !!!
Then I had my high brow meeting with owner and manger. Very positive all round although sadly our stand is closing in the Cardiff Store. However, a girl always has options right ?
Then GBF and I parted company and I went home, got my blue / grey cat and took him to the vets.
The cat in question is like Lindsay Lohan and Posh Spice with fur. I never ever thought I would be jealous of a cat's hips, I AM !
The cat Moses (the holy name came in useful, explanation to follow) eats all the time and cries incessantly for food. Clearly something is amiss as he is as skinny as and his tummy is really hard and swollen.
The vet told me his stomach was empty !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like the pouches of food after he polishes them off. The cat was also dehydrated.
Vet took samples of blood from his neck as opposed to the leg (how gothic) and then gave him fluids to hydrate him via a drip !!!
I then asked the vets for tablets that would treat shock, she looked at me perplexed. I explained they were not for the cat they were actually for the owner. As the bill was nearly £100 !
Bang goes the new outfit for next weeks aftershow party of the Dave Courtney tour. Bugger !!!
Then the Vet informs me as she hands me a sample bottle - I need to collect a sample of Moses' poo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You want his shit ?? He poos something that resembles a melted minstrel as it is just a splash !
OMG !
From the glamour to shit !
How one needed him to have a holy name - we needed to pray to the money God's after that.
The punchline ...
Vet still does not know what is wrong with him. We definitely know it is not hyperthyroidism as his tests for that were negative.
After nearly an hour at the Vet's we returned home. I dropped Moses off and got the dog.
I needed some retail therapy , my guess was the dog did too as it was the weekend.
Dog and I went to Pets at Home. When I got to the cashier, I noticed they were selling the "fire engine" cat play house featured in The Apprentice on BBC1.
I was chatting to the friendly cashier about the Apprentice product on display and asked if they were stocking the leads also featured on the programme.
I felt the dog pulling on her lead and I attempted to pull her back, she seemed reluctant to move.
No wonder ! The filthy minx was having a poo right in front of the queue of other customer's and the cashier .
OMG - I was beyond mortified.
Friendly cashier was now treating me like, well what had just exited the dog's bum. I did offer to clean it up instead of the poor man that had run over with bags to scoop up the offending lumps.
He refused. One act of gallantry cannot be bad in one day, even though it included dog excrement.
Dog and I left sharpish.
The cat , however, was refusing to poo at all, despite the amount of food I gave to him when we got in.
Honestly, I swear the animals KNOW ! They do !
My pets did a conspiracy theory yesterday for poo.
Hence the day was glamour to shitz.
Or as "Mr How is this man single" described it
"catastrophic"
Or as I said "crapastrophic"
The next day, Moses gave us the parting we had all wanted not of the red sea so we got the sample to the vets.
Well Charlotte York-Goldenblatt may have had pudding her prada in Sex and the City, here at Sex and the Psychic, we push the boundaries......
L-C has poo in her prada.
Thursday 21 May 2009
First Impressions
Obviously these are hugely important. All of us only have once chance to make a (right) first impression.
Although, bad dates are not limited to the female of the species, as I spoke to a lovely single gentleman today about his bad dates and the first impressions he had of a lady he went to Bristol to see.
The lady in question had been somewhat slimmer than he had previously thought. He got there and was driving past in a volvo (correct car with impact bars for his shock as he nearly crashed on sight of her) and realised that his date resembled the Pilsbury dough boy with breasts and a wig.
Rightly or wrongly, depending on your opinion , they were going out to eat. This lovely man described her eating as watching a washing machine in full cycle.
Ladies - NOTE - not a good look to have jaws being the closest thing to perpetual motion a guy has ever seen.
Needless to say he did not see her again.
Why this man is single is a mystery to me. What do women want ? He is kind, sweet, cute, successful and very funny. He has a great family ( I know of his parents through my Mum and was in school with his sister) . Ladies, if you work out who this guy is and get a date with him - keep hold of him as with his background and family - you will never be blingless, blind or in a position where you can't get a room.
The other great first impression I made was literally falling into a date's arms and doing my utmost not to swear as I was meeting and greeting.
I had got my Ferragamo heel stuck in a grate and went hurtling forward. How romantic falling into a man's arms. Thankfully I still have the shoes , not the man and I am more than certain the shoes are a much better fit.
My friend was asked by a guy when they were going to go out on a first date, would she wear her cat costume to the party they were going to.
She told me that she asked him "What are you going to wear ?"
"Sweetie" I said "Who the F**K cares what he wears if you are in a cat suit, pussy rules the world! "
Imagine that first date, purrfect ...............................
There are also two other first dates I feel compelled to mention. I went on these during the same weekend with two very different men. They were also my last dates with both and for that I am thankful.
Date number one was off to a bad start as soon as I saw his car pull up next to mine in the Starbucks car park of where we had arranged to meet.
Firstly, I was fashionably late. That option is for ladies only. He got out of his car - not a man's car, a vile two seater with some dodgy private plate that only certain types of women drive and joked he thought he would be fashionably late.
I could have run over it in my 4 x 4 it was so small.
Enjoy the laugh and my company , I thought, as this is the first and last time for the joke - ditto dating me again, purely for the fact you were not in there to meet and greet to make the lady feel at ease upon walking in.
Not all women are blessed with the confidence I have so I thought it was really bad form he was not in there waiting to meet his date . We had met on the internet.
Secondly his name had been a non starter from the beginning. I won't name the name, in case I cause offence to those of the same name who are actually quite cool people. It is a name one just could not imagine calling out in the more passionate moments of relationships.
We got seated, I had my usual frappucino light (with what ensued I wished we had gone to a bar as I needed brandy for shock) and his drink was the hottest thing about him.
I noticed during the course of his tedious conversation that he was shaking. He told me he had been out drinking the night before, so I was not sure whether he had DT's, Parkinsons or was downright nervous.
Then he went on to question me about my spiritual side. He said he was spiritual as he listens to an audio self help book by Eckhart Tolle on his Ipod which he finds gives him "inner peace".
He said "I really shouldn't say this "
Then "Don't" I said under my breath.
"But I split from my partner last year in December and I was really upset about it so I got the audio book and it really helps"
NOTE - the date was in January.
How inappropriate to say that on a first date ! On any date to be honest ! The schmuck.
After believing this could not get any worse, it did.
He DRIBBLED ! Yes, dribbled. A long bit of drool escaped from the corner of his mouth, I acutally saw it exit the lips and swing about 5 inches downward. Mercy , Mercy me.
In my time, I have rendered men speechless, breathless and possibly weak at the knees. Never in my years or to my knowledge have I rendered any man salivaless.
It actually crossed my mind to ask him to loan me the self help book as after 45 minutes with this dude, I needed it.
I made my excuses and left.
Anyway, I remained positive as I had another date zero lined up for the next day with a guy off the same dating site.
I decided to take the car even though we were going for drinks. There are times when I am so grateful my intuition plays a part in making the right decision - I could get away quickly. Yesterday's date seemed like perfection compared to what ensued with date zero number two.
I walked in the bar and I nearly RAN back out.
He looked like Frankenstein with too much product in his hair.
He told me he worked in IT. I got that about him as he must have been a dab hand with the "Photoshop" programme on his PC as the picture did not resemble the one on his profile. He looked like a Hammer House of Horror regular. The profile one made him look quite rugged and smouldering. He then interrogated me , attempted to psycho analyse me and bored me rigid. In fact he drained me.
His breath stank, he had residue product in his hair which had left white bits, his shirt was minging and all in all his company was foul.
When I met him, I did not know whether to shake his hand or offer him some bolts for his neck.
On dates the only bolts we are supposed to have are bolts of lightning , not bolts for the man's neck.
I escaped Frankenstein after one drink. He walked me to my car, I sidestepped him, opened my door and more or less used it as a human shield when he said Goodbye to me.
Judo black belt I may be and an ex door women of 10 years, however, this was one wrestle I was not intending to get into by having to fight off his advances.
I went back home, he probably went off to haunt houses and then a quick airbrush of his pics on the PC then loosening his bolts before sleep.
Shortly after these horrendous first dates, my aunt asked me
"How is your love life LC?"
My reply
"Like the ceasefire in Gaza"
Mother and her looked at me quizzically
"Non-existent"
I explained to them my recent dates had been a dribbling, shaking, self help addict and a Frankenstein lookalike that could have taught the CIA a thing or two about questioning.
There have been dates since who did not dribble, interrogate or arrive fashionably late. Needless to say there are definitely a blog or two's worth in them.
To be continued ...............
Although, bad dates are not limited to the female of the species, as I spoke to a lovely single gentleman today about his bad dates and the first impressions he had of a lady he went to Bristol to see.
The lady in question had been somewhat slimmer than he had previously thought. He got there and was driving past in a volvo (correct car with impact bars for his shock as he nearly crashed on sight of her) and realised that his date resembled the Pilsbury dough boy with breasts and a wig.
Rightly or wrongly, depending on your opinion , they were going out to eat. This lovely man described her eating as watching a washing machine in full cycle.
Ladies - NOTE - not a good look to have jaws being the closest thing to perpetual motion a guy has ever seen.
Needless to say he did not see her again.
Why this man is single is a mystery to me. What do women want ? He is kind, sweet, cute, successful and very funny. He has a great family ( I know of his parents through my Mum and was in school with his sister) . Ladies, if you work out who this guy is and get a date with him - keep hold of him as with his background and family - you will never be blingless, blind or in a position where you can't get a room.
The other great first impression I made was literally falling into a date's arms and doing my utmost not to swear as I was meeting and greeting.
I had got my Ferragamo heel stuck in a grate and went hurtling forward. How romantic falling into a man's arms. Thankfully I still have the shoes , not the man and I am more than certain the shoes are a much better fit.
My friend was asked by a guy when they were going to go out on a first date, would she wear her cat costume to the party they were going to.
She told me that she asked him "What are you going to wear ?"
"Sweetie" I said "Who the F**K cares what he wears if you are in a cat suit, pussy rules the world! "
Imagine that first date, purrfect ...............................
There are also two other first dates I feel compelled to mention. I went on these during the same weekend with two very different men. They were also my last dates with both and for that I am thankful.
Date number one was off to a bad start as soon as I saw his car pull up next to mine in the Starbucks car park of where we had arranged to meet.
Firstly, I was fashionably late. That option is for ladies only. He got out of his car - not a man's car, a vile two seater with some dodgy private plate that only certain types of women drive and joked he thought he would be fashionably late.
I could have run over it in my 4 x 4 it was so small.
Enjoy the laugh and my company , I thought, as this is the first and last time for the joke - ditto dating me again, purely for the fact you were not in there to meet and greet to make the lady feel at ease upon walking in.
Not all women are blessed with the confidence I have so I thought it was really bad form he was not in there waiting to meet his date . We had met on the internet.
Secondly his name had been a non starter from the beginning. I won't name the name, in case I cause offence to those of the same name who are actually quite cool people. It is a name one just could not imagine calling out in the more passionate moments of relationships.
We got seated, I had my usual frappucino light (with what ensued I wished we had gone to a bar as I needed brandy for shock) and his drink was the hottest thing about him.
I noticed during the course of his tedious conversation that he was shaking. He told me he had been out drinking the night before, so I was not sure whether he had DT's, Parkinsons or was downright nervous.
Then he went on to question me about my spiritual side. He said he was spiritual as he listens to an audio self help book by Eckhart Tolle on his Ipod which he finds gives him "inner peace".
He said "I really shouldn't say this "
Then "Don't" I said under my breath.
"But I split from my partner last year in December and I was really upset about it so I got the audio book and it really helps"
NOTE - the date was in January.
How inappropriate to say that on a first date ! On any date to be honest ! The schmuck.
After believing this could not get any worse, it did.
He DRIBBLED ! Yes, dribbled. A long bit of drool escaped from the corner of his mouth, I acutally saw it exit the lips and swing about 5 inches downward. Mercy , Mercy me.
In my time, I have rendered men speechless, breathless and possibly weak at the knees. Never in my years or to my knowledge have I rendered any man salivaless.
It actually crossed my mind to ask him to loan me the self help book as after 45 minutes with this dude, I needed it.
I made my excuses and left.
Anyway, I remained positive as I had another date zero lined up for the next day with a guy off the same dating site.
I decided to take the car even though we were going for drinks. There are times when I am so grateful my intuition plays a part in making the right decision - I could get away quickly. Yesterday's date seemed like perfection compared to what ensued with date zero number two.
I walked in the bar and I nearly RAN back out.
He looked like Frankenstein with too much product in his hair.
He told me he worked in IT. I got that about him as he must have been a dab hand with the "Photoshop" programme on his PC as the picture did not resemble the one on his profile. He looked like a Hammer House of Horror regular. The profile one made him look quite rugged and smouldering. He then interrogated me , attempted to psycho analyse me and bored me rigid. In fact he drained me.
His breath stank, he had residue product in his hair which had left white bits, his shirt was minging and all in all his company was foul.
When I met him, I did not know whether to shake his hand or offer him some bolts for his neck.
On dates the only bolts we are supposed to have are bolts of lightning , not bolts for the man's neck.
I escaped Frankenstein after one drink. He walked me to my car, I sidestepped him, opened my door and more or less used it as a human shield when he said Goodbye to me.
Judo black belt I may be and an ex door women of 10 years, however, this was one wrestle I was not intending to get into by having to fight off his advances.
I went back home, he probably went off to haunt houses and then a quick airbrush of his pics on the PC then loosening his bolts before sleep.
Shortly after these horrendous first dates, my aunt asked me
"How is your love life LC?"
My reply
"Like the ceasefire in Gaza"
Mother and her looked at me quizzically
"Non-existent"
I explained to them my recent dates had been a dribbling, shaking, self help addict and a Frankenstein lookalike that could have taught the CIA a thing or two about questioning.
There have been dates since who did not dribble, interrogate or arrive fashionably late. Needless to say there are definitely a blog or two's worth in them.
To be continued ...............
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